I don't have to worry about them getting the message I'm about to share with you. They already know it, and so do you. We need to win our upcoming 13-game sortie against AL Central opponents. Last year, we were abysmal against divisional rivals. Please, oh please, can we change that this year? I beg of you. Restore the roar of divisional ownership.
Thank you in advance for your consideration of the preceding public service announcement.