Lady Sings the Blues

Rogo of DesigNate Robertson has become so lazy that he puts stupid tiger pictures on his site and calls it a real post. I must protest. The offseason is hard enough already, and now he's not even going to help us through it by providing some reading material? No. Join me in urging him to shake off his sloth and post something worthy.

Dave Dombrowski puts the kabosh on the Jeremy Bonderman and Vlad Guerrero rumors. Well. Ok. Good.

Can you survive the next eleven days? I'm not quite sure whether I'll make it myself. I've contemplated illegal money-raising activities in order to get my tail down to Spring Training. You know what though? Even if I don't make it down there, the photos posted by fellow fans who are there always make my day. I love wading through pages and pages of Flickr albums that showcase our boys frolicking in the grass at Joker Marchant Stadium.

Have you purchased Rosetta Stone yet in order to better communicate with the ever growing Latin contingent of the Tigers? I am determined to learn Spanish. Why did my high school offer only German?? What good is it doing me now?? Sigh.

Well that's it for the random thoughts at this time.

The CoPa Still Beckons

The Tigers are not mathematically eliminated from the 2010 playoffs. Ha. We all know it's over.

You know what, though? I still love going to ballgames. I can't help it. Is there a better sensory experience than walking in to the park, seeing the green expanse of grass and players warming up, smelling roasted peanuts and spun cotton candy, and hearing the public address announcer telling you that Comerica Park is a family environment and profanity is strictly forbidden? I don't think so.

So, I had to heed the call yesterday. Luckily, a friend of mine is very like-minded. When I texted her about going to the game, her simple reply was "of course." Like, there is no question of being tired or having obligations. Of course she wanted to spend 2 hours and four minutes with our boys of summer. Of course she wanted to take a sharpened pencil to her scorecard.

My friend wore her Jeremy Bonderman jersey last night. Thank her for that outstanding performance. Eight strong, three hits, one run, one walk? Just wow.

John Danks was the unhappy victim of a pair of errors by Mark Teahen. He was left out there to dry by Ozzie Guillen for six full innings, who apparently had no desire to burn through his pen. Only two of the five runs Danks was charged with were earned. Smart move by Guillen. Pena went the final two, and operation bullpen preservation succeeded.

Our murderer's row lineup really impressed. Wells had an RBI, and Inge and Avila each collected a pair. Everyone but Rhymes and Boesch had a hit.

Phil Coke. I haven't heard any updates lately on his dead arm/tired arm, but Leyland keeps running him out there, quite literally. It always makes me smile when Coke sprints to the mound. I don't like to see Coke struggle, because the guy is a smidge hard on himself, you know? Like when he blamed Joel Zumaya's broken elbow on his own ineffectiveness that game. So, it made me happy to see him allow no runs on one hit last night.

Anyway, do not ignore the call from your ballpark. She wants to entertain you. She does not disappoint. She will soon be shuttered. Go. While you still can.

The Unbearable Sadness of Being...

... a Tigers fan. I really hate to be such a baby, but I am unable to cope with yet another loss. Mercifully, I missed most of the game for my son's baseball picnic. What a blessing. I didn't see Justin Verlander give up two runs in each of the first two innings. It's a good thing, too. You would think by this point, I would just be desensitized to all the losing, but no. It still stings. Every day. Day after day after day.

Ok. Big deep breath. This cannot go on. Even horrible, terrible teams don't lose this much. So, by sheer probability, we cannot continue to lose at this pace.

But seriously, who is going to be the stopper in this skid? Verlander couldn't do it. Scherzer pitched quite well yesterday, and where did that get us? I wore the lucky bracelet, attended the game, and...nothing.

It's going to take something extraordinary. Jeremy Bonderman, who sounds like baseball has become rather a chore, and has contemplated retirement after this season, faces off against Scott Kazmir tomorrow. Could Bondo's family come to the game and give him some moral support? Jeremy once said that one of the greatest thing about being a father is that his daughter loves him regardless of how he pitched that day. We need her at the game tomorrow. I am dead serious. Please, I'm begging here. My pride is non-existent at this point. Shame? Don't even know the definition.

Bats. That's another mountain to move. I say we sacrifice a live chicken before the game. All of us. Individually. I mean, if 20,000 fans sacrifice a live chicken, there's no way our bats can fail, right? If you can't stomach taking the life of an innocent winged creature, buy a bucket of KFC.

My last key for victory tomorrow involves sabotage. Part of the work may be done for us, as Torii Hunter quite possibly earned himself a suspension after tonight's histrionics, including throwing a bag of balls onto the field and maybe making contact with home plate umpire Ron Kulpa, or at the very least spitting in his eye (not purposely). Anyway, if you can break into the CoPa and steal equipment, that would be really great.

In the Bell Jar

We have arrived. At a horrifying place. A fourteen inning gauntlet that ends in consecutive loss number six. Johnny Damon makes a baserunning gaffe on a play that should have ended the game and winds up standing at third. Carlos Guillen then grounds into a disastrous double play to end the eleventh.

I blame the hitting in such situations. If the pitching staff has gone out and put up zeros for four innings in a row, the offense has to do its part and push one stinking run across. How could one run prove so elusive? How can the boys of summer not buckle down and get it done to put a halt to this skid?

I'm not on the ledge saying our season is over and we should sell at the trade deadline and look at next year. No. I want to fight for our season.

BUT....

We do have some gargantuan obstacles to clear. Our starting pitching has not solidified. Andrew Oliver needs more time to develop. Armando Galarraga has had one outing of brilliance and many of mediocrity. Rick Porcello has barely put Toledo in the rear view mirror. I fear that Jeremy Bonderman is an incurable head case. He constantly lets one bad pitch bleed into the next 25 pitches. You can read it in his face.

Our defense. Can we talk about defense for a minute? Only the Nationals separate us from last place on defense. I am ready to hop the fence and start leading some fielding drills, despite a complete lack of athleticism. I could show them what NOT to do, and how horrible they look when they field like me! That would shock them into doing better, I know it. Noone wants to look like me out there. Even in a backyard family game, I get mocked and derided mercilessly. I am the ultimate cautionary tale.

Aaaaaaaand let's not forget about offense. We have what can only be called several automatic outs on our squad. The names, Laird, Avila, Worth, Raburn come quickly to mind. When these gentlemen stride to the plate, it's as good as a television commercial. People can walk away from the tv without the slightest worry that anything of note will happen. Unless you count strikeout looking as something of note.

Now Brandon Inge has a broken hand and is out for the next four to six weeks. You may be aware that Brandon Inge is not my favorite player. However, he shores up a shaky defense, and has raised his average to a respectable (for him) .263. We can't really well afford to lose him right now. There are too many holes already.

In addition to all these roster issues, we have scheduling issues. We are on the road more this half, where we, um, suck. We don't face the Pirates, Nats and Orioles so much this half, and they, um, suck, which helped us pad our record. Starting with Cleveland after the break, we have eighteen games in a row with no off-day. Are you screaming yet? Have you begun cutting yourself yet? Would that be weird? I haven't done that. No, I have not. I categorically deny doing that.

With all that being said, I hope Dave Dombrowski makes some savvy moves at the trade deadline. Moves that won't eviscerate our already paltry stock of prospects. I hope he can swindle the pants off some other GM to give us a couple pieces that could put us over the top. Use the power of those horrible sailboat sweaters, Dave. They could hypnotize an unsuspecting baseball executive into giving up say Dan Haren or Ben Sheets, or Stephen Drew (who Kirk Gibson says has really bad luck, which could certainly be changed by coming over the AL). Right? RIGHT???

Rain Delays and Mondays Always Get Me Down

Does anyone else sniff conspiracy? Cleveland was down one in this game. I know that's close, but do you think they wanted to resume play tonight? No. They want a coveted do-over. Fine. They got it. I hope we stomp them 20-0 in the make up game. OK. Maybe that's just the disappointment talking. But isn't it irksome to start a game, get half way through with a lead (slim as it may have been) and then just have it all unceremoniously erased like an end of the day chalkboard?

Both starters got chased out of this game in the third inning......um, ouch. Bonderman gave up an early solo shot to Sizemore and then looked ok, until Cleveland ripped off, what was it, four, five, six straight hits, including a three run dinger to a struggling Travis Hafner? Does it matter now that this partial game has been wiped off the books as if it had never been played? Sigh.

I give. I should just stop typing right now and go to sleep. Why swim in a sea of self-pity over a single regular season game getting postponed? I don't know! I'm a masochist, what can I say? Perhaps more accurately, I am a spoiled brat who can't stand to go two days without a game of baseball being completed. Well now. At least I'm honest.

In case you're concerned, I just checked Cleveland's forecast for tomorrow and mercifully it looks as if there's a pretty good chance of the game being played to a full nine innings. Also, I did verify availability of a bed at a local mental health facility, since my sanity seems to be rather absurdly dependent on baseball being played.

When The Stars Align

To euphemize, Friday's home opener was a smidge on the chilly side. Some people are ill prepared and easily irritated and find it impossible to enjoy a game under such circumstances.

Fortune smiled for Saturday's game, and I enjoyed blissful sun and temps so mild I didn't get to show off my new Tigers warm up jacket. Well, I did forget to put sunscreen on, and my nose glowed Ruldolph-style for the next two days. Just my nose. The rest of my face remained paste-white. That's attractive.

I have shared with you my status as a charmed individual. Ask me for some lottery numbers, because at Saturday's game, the guy I buy tickets from upgraded me from bleacher seats to infield boxes 26 rows behind the Tigers dugout for free (thank you Gary). I can't explain it people. Just accept it before it destroys you. The only downside to this whole development was that I didn't bring my camera, because its zoom doesn't perform that well from right field. I had wonderful views of players in the on-deck circle and coming into the dugout, and no way to capture them. That's ok. I just soaked up the vistas--when people weren't constantly getting up and down in our row.

I try not to be too much of a baseball snob, but really, I must protest. The bases were loaded...LOADED with Tigers, and idiot fans are doing the wave. Repeat with me now. "These vapid drunkards pay the salaries of our ballplayers. Without them, our starting lineup would include a bunch of no-names and has-beens." Does that help you at all?

Jeremy Bonderman looked really good. I was a little concerned before the game, wondering about some rust from his suspension, and that dreaded first inning. Imagine the excitement as Jeremy took a no-hitter into the fourth inning. Hafner broke it up with a single. I was actually relieved, because I think the pressure of a no-no would have caused Bondo to spontaneously combust somewhere around the seventh inning. Jeremy's day ended after the fifth when 90 pitches had been thrown. Very satisfying. I was glad to see him come back with a clean, quick fifth, after struggling a little with command in the fourth.

I cannot write this post without reminding you that in the third at bat of the Tigers' half of the first, Magglio Ordóñez launched a laser down the left field line. It got out so fast I almost missed it. But grinning and laughing, I jumped up and down with childish glee.

So you can see that the day at the park was shiny and perfect, wrapped up with a big red bow of a Tigers victory and a four-out save for Ryan Perry.

Sprung

All is right with the world. I got to listen to some Tiger baseball yesterday on the radio. It was the perfect harbinger of spring. Who needs robins? So overrated. Then today, the sun was out, and the mercury surpassed 40 degrees. Wearing a sweatshirt instead of a bulky winter coat? Priceless.

Anyway, a couple quick notes from yesterday's game. Sizemore misplayed a couple balls. On one play, Dan Dickerson and Jim Price said he would've had no chance at the runner even if he'd fielded the ball cleanly. On the other, a routine ball went off his glove. This is no big deal, but it's just a reminder that he needs some reps here in Spring Training. He broke his ankle and cut short his Fall League playing time. Regarding that ankle, I heard a radio interview with Sizemore on Detroit's AM 1130, and he said that turning a double play helped him clear a mental hurdle. He also said he's got more to do--a lot of turns and pivots with which to get comfortable again. All this rookie, broken ankle and defensive issues stuff has me fretting a little. I believe he'll be just fine, I do. Everyone says he's ready. I know. But it plays mind games with my head.

You know what it is? It's all the things that have to go right for the Tigers to have a good season, a contending season. We need Bonderman to come back to a form he hasn't had in the past two full seasons. We need Scherzer to make a smooth transition from the NL to the AL. We need a fifth starter to materialize. We need two rookies to walk onto Major League ball fields and perform at the Major League level. We need older veterans to stay healthy. We need Joel Zumaya to keep the ball up in the zone and finally learn to pitch, or at least listen to his catcher.

Ok. I'm sorry. I know that a lot of clubs are dealing with their own set of question marks. Take Seattle, for instance. They've got to pin hopes on head-case Milton Bradley behaving himself.

The other item of note I have from Thursday's radio broadcast is a little bone to pick with Dan and Jim. They kept raving about our young prospects, really gushing, going on and on. Now, Baseball America via Sports Illustrated has us in the "Worst of the Rest" category, which means a ranking between 16-25 out of 30 clubs. Keith Law at ESPN had us at 28 out of 30! Usually, one of the things I like about Dan and Jim is that they're honest. A little more up front than say, Rod Allen and Mario Impemba. If a guy makes a bad play, they general just say so. Maybe they were just caught up in the hype of Spring and all, but it was over the top for a system that is ranked so poorly.

In case you weren't aware, Spring Training games played on Saturdays and Sundays will be broadcast on the radio. Detroit listeners can tune to 97.1 FM or 1270 AM. Maybe I'll clear the snow off my deck, dig out a lawn chair, and listen outside.

Verlander Backs Bondo

MLB Network's Hot Stove caught up with Justin Verlander to discuss that fat contract he just signed. Most interesting to me, however, were Justin's comments about Jeremy Bonderman. He said that he and Jeremy worked out together in Florida last week, and Bondo's stuff is "night and day" compared to last year.

Is Bonderman poised for comeback player of the year? I don't know about all that, but it sure would be most gratifying to see Jeremy on the mound NOT giving up three runs the first inning of every outing. A return to form would go a long way toward our shot at the weak AL Central.

Go Bondo!

(Also watch the video to see Sean Casey telling JV that he owes him some steak dinners, since Casey picked up many a tab back when Justin was a young'un in 2006.)

Out Walking the Ledge

Sooooooooo, how do you feel this morning? (That is, if you're able to drag your tail out of bed and stagger to the computer.) Like someone worked you over like Ali's punching bag? Like you're hung over but you didn't even drink? Like your best girl (or guy) dumped you unceremoniously and without warning? All of the above?

Myself, I'm still reeling. Better recover soon, there's a day game today, folks.

I'm trying to get some perspective and quell the panic, I really am. But the way we've been playing is not helping matters at all.

Porcello did his job, I mean he didn't give up any three-run homers (cough, Jackson, Galarraga, Washburn, Fien, Bonderman, cough).

Now today we have to face Carl I-Can't-Shut-Down-Anyone-But-the-Tigers Pavano. I've already set a plan in motion to sabotage him so he can't start today. It involves luring him under the I35W Bridge, where another collapse appears imminent. Wish me luck.

Tale of Two Teams

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

The Tigers were atop the AL Central.  The Tigers got swept by the Red Sox.

Justin Verlander leads the American League in strikeouts.   Dontrelle Willis loses ability to throw strikes mid-game.

Rick Porcello wins AL Rookie of the Month.  Zach Miner and Nate Robertson show they are ineffective as relievers.

Ryan Perry comes in today and allows no hits, no walks.   The remainder of the Tigers pitching staff makes enemies with the strike zone, surrendering NINE walks.

Justin Verlander wins AL Pitcher of the Month.  The Tiger bats go silent.

Jeremy Bonderman is finally ready to come off the DL.  Carlos Guillen is still a long ways off.

Are you feeling the dichotomy?  I've got to be honest.  The top of the third inning today had me ready to assume the fetal position and sob/rock myself to sleep so I could escape the horrible sadness.

I hate losing to good teams, because I don't want to hear sports analysts say we can't match up with Boston or New York.

All I can say is shake it off boys, you've got the Angels on tap.

Slammed

Sometimes I am unable to write a post immediately following a bad loss.  I first attempt to cool myself off by slamming a few doors with all possible force.  I've had a mirror come unmounted from the back of a door and shatter all over the floor in a trillion polygonic granules.  My, wasn't it humbling (and hazardous) performing clean-up on that mess.   If that doesn't do the trick, I've got to break out the big guns and watch my copy of the no-hitter that I downloaded off i-Tunes.

All of this is done to spare the reader from invectives spewed in a disorderly jumble.  There certainly are times when an angry post is appropriate and cathartic.  In fact, it's why I started this blog after the 2008 season.  I just had so much bile poisoning my system, it had to be released.

So much for the blow-hard intro.  My point here is that last night's loss is now becoming a pattern.  We get Greinke-d, Buehrle-d, Pavano-ed.  Who's next?  Is Cliff Lee gonna make a run at a perfect game too?  Actually, that would NOT follow the pattern.  We usually follow up such a loss with a win.  We're playing .500 ball right now, and while that's a sight better than last year, it's not entirely satisfying.  I'm feeling that our team has a legitimate shot at contending.  We'll soon know whether Willis and then Bonderman can help boost us up to the next level.

If not, and in the wake of more tainting of our game coming to light, I may just move to following and blogging  my son's rec league team.

Right is Right?

What to make of our all righty rotation, that is the question.  It couldn't be helped, what with Dontrelle Willis' trip to the DL, and Nate Robertson's inability to grab ahold of a spot, but it ain't exactly ideal.  I agree that the best five should make the rotation--notwithstanding contracts and handedness.  Still, let's look at a few of the AL Central lefty bats we'll be facing on a regular basis--and this is not everyone.

Sox

Pierzynski

Thome

Tribe

Martinez (S)

Choo

Sizemore

Hafner (who has had his struggles this spring, but may just be working out timing)

KC

Jacobs

DeJesus

Teahen

Twinkies

M & M boys

Span

Kubel

and a whole host of switch hitters

Thome and Sizemore and Morneau, oh my.  I've got a message in to the Wizard of Oz asking for a left-handed starter.

On a side note, I'm all aflutter, because I'm going to see Porcello's CoPa debut in person on April 14.  Whoo hoo!

Play Ball?

Well, the starting rotation picture continues to shift and confound.   Jeremy Bonderman showed us today that he is indeed not ready.  At times, he looked good, but he lacks arm strength and control.  I'm not really worried about him, he just needs more time.  It's disappointing that he won't be ready for the beginning of the season, because we need all we can get.  We don't want a repeat of last year now do we?  

Zach Miner, on the other hand, wants to show everybody that he does belong in the rotation after all.  He looked pretty stinking good, except for that one solo shot.  He worked all his pitches at a good pace, changing eye levels, and speeds.

Due to my botched DVR job, I didn't see Rapada's or Bonine's work.

Perhaps the latest twist in the Dontrelle Willis saga may lead us to have hope for his situation.  In a bizarre turn, WIllis has been placed on the DL with an anxiety disorder.  I had no idea they could be diagnosed with a blood test now, but I think this may be good news for Willis and the Tigers.  He may be able to come out of the tailspin he's been in.

Sadly, we endured yet another injury in today's game, as Santiago left the game after legging out an infield single, and then tripping over the first baseman's foot as he got to the bag.  It didn't look too terribly serious, but geez. 

On a final note, Opening Day, Opening Day, Opening Day's only 8 days away! 

Just a Word or Two More

I failed to make clear the title of my last post, and think it sounds stupid, so what I meant was that I consider Zach Miner and Dontrelle Willis to be the men down (out of the running for a rotation spot).  

My heart is just cracking into shards for Dontrelle.  He's a likable guy who jumped in feet first to a couple charity engagements moments after hitting the tarmac when he arrived.  How can a pitcher just lose all grip on his game?  It's got my mind very boggled.  I would love to hear some instances (other than Ankiel) of this happening to other guys from some of you historians.

Maybe the D-train could, if he accepted a minor league assignment, go back to his high leg kick, work on that for some time, and do something again someday.  I really hope that's so.  With the modified delivery, his stuff has nothing on it, and he'll just continue to get rocked to oblivion.  I cannot even stand to watch--I caught one inning of his work the other night, and was alternately holding my breath, cringing, and looking away for sobbing out loud.  Plus, he's still so not able to locate the vicinity of the plate, why not go back to what he's done for years?  It's beyond late for them to be shuffling so much with mechanics, so it'll be the minor leagues or bye bye for Dontrelle, I would think.  

Makes me feel very, very bad.

Men Down!

Jason Beck wrote in his blog today that Zach Miner is out of the running for the 5th starter spot in the rotation.

Hmmmmmm--interesting, seeing that Dontrelle Willis finds the strike zone to be an anathema, and Jeremy Bonderman, though on schedule to sort of be ready by the first week of the regular season has thrown all of 28 pitches in total this spring, and Nate Robertson, although performing well his last two outings, is, you know, Nate Robertson, and um, are we going to be handing him the job?  That brings us to Rick Porcello, and does this mean he may be closer than ever to coming up with the big club?  And would that be a good thing, since as Kurt over at Mack Avenue Tigers points out, Bonderman will only be able to last about five innings at first, and Porcello would also be on a strict pitch count?  Let's overtax our bullpen right out of the gate!  Needless to say, this spring's adventures in pitching have induced a whole lot of Maalox chugging for the Tiger faithful.   I just returned from Costco, where I saved loads of cash buying it in bulk--maybe enough to score Opening weekend tickets off Stubhub.

Hurlers Making us Hurl

Well Justin Verlander is up to his old tricks, requiring 50 pitches to get through 2.1 innings against a Yankees lineup that was without Jeter, A-Rod and other regulars.  You'd think he'd be attacking the strike zone relentlessly this spring in an effort to reverse last year's inefficiency.  Yesterday's outing had 29 of 50 pitches going for strikes.  Not exactly confidence-inspiring, but again, not cause for ledge-walking.  I will be keeping a weather eye on Justin, however.

At least we got some good news on the Bondo/Zumaya injury-watch fronts.  Geez, if they'd both had bad reports, it would be difficult to find a ledge not crowded with despairing Tigers fans.

On to our young prospects, who are defying conventional time-tables and threatening to make a run at the big club.  I like Kurt's take on Porcello over at Mack Avenue Tigers.  Porcello's situation fills me with a scary mixture of excitement and caution.  I don't want to see him rushed, but some folks are just flat out ready.  Also, Ryan Perry has impressed.  See Sean's piece on Perry.  Could we have a crowd of would-be closers at the end of Spring Training?  I'll take that problem any day of the week.

One last non-pitching related note.  I wish I could have seen yesterday's game in which Sheff was HBP twice (not by the same pitcher).  Was he threatening revenge on Yankee-dom?  Will he have his hands full this season lurking in dark corners, waiting for an opportunity to get his hands on his countless enemies?  Why watch the soaps?  It doesn't get much better than Sheffield and his self-created drama.  And, imagine that, there will be some on-field drama as well as we follow the chase for 500.

Where in the World is Freddy Garcia?

Jason Beck's blog reports that Freddy Garcia is not yet pitching in winter ball in Venezuela, but hopes to be by early November.  Wowee.  This is a bit of a set-back.  I hadn't realized the neck/shoulder injury from the Chicago make-up game was as serious as all this.  It makes it harder to evaluate him in my view, even though Beck thought clubs wouldn't be too put off by it, if it's a short delay.

It just goes to show how tenuous a pitcher's career is.  Not to over-react, but it seems a common problem that pitchers come back too quickly from injury, only to re-aggravate the existing injury, or cause an entirely new one due to compensating, favoring, tweaking mechanics to deal with the original injury, coming back before full arm strength is there, pitching too long too early on, etc.  I feel badly for those whose arms are burnt up before their time-- careers being cut short all tragically.  At the same time, there seems to be such a cowboy mentality out there.  Why in tarnation did Bonderman not disclose his injury earlier?  He was getting roasted alive for his nauseating performances, yet says nothing?  Come on! (Side note, Bonderman's a head case anyway, so maybe this was just more of the same bewildering psychological drama for him--like giving up three runs every first inning.)

Then we hear from Leyland about how everyone has been re-educated to report injuries immediately--to no apparent effect.   We've got Zumaya out there all jacked up, Kenny Rogers battling hip trouble, but not admitting to it, Garcia going out there trying to be a hero, laudably in some ways, trying to show his worth for next year, trying to stick it to the Sox, but ends up jeopardizing everything instead.

People, could we please not destroy our bodies and our ballclubs by reporting injuries early on, so you can maybe spend one short stint on the stinking DL instead of half the season or worse?  I mean, do you see the logic, ballplayers?  Or am I just such a non-athlete that I don't get some code of stoic, stubborn, misplaced pride?  Perhaps they fear being labeled not-durable, weak, injury-prone, but to me, if you're out there getting hammered every night anyway, it's so beyond not worth it.