Angst, Anxiety...Armando

Who's the Tiger you're most worried about going into the 2011 season?

For me, it's Armando Galarraga. We need him to pitch like that guy who pitched a perfect game, not like the guy who was afraid to throw a strike most of the time.

Could someone get in Armando's ear and brainwash him with positive thinking? I'll pay Tony Robbins to pump him full of clichéd, atta boy, rah rah psycho-babble. Yes, it would be worth every penny.

Galarraga ended the season with a WHIP of 1.34. He really only had one decent year--2008. He has asserted that he deserves a spot in the starting rotation, and got his undies in a twist when he got sent down to Toledo, but he doesn't always trust his stuff. He'd better dig deep and find a way to believe that he's got a big league arm, pitch to contact, and be a productive part of the rotation.

We've got Verlander and Scherzer--rock solid. I believe that Porcello will be just fine. Who really knows how Phil Coke's attempt to turn starter will go? I love Phil Coke. He's a great personality, and he pitched really well most of last year. But I really have no idea if that will translate over to starting pitcher. Therefore, it's all the more important that 'mando does his job.

So.......Armando Galarraga, stand up. Cowboy up. Pitch up...to your potential.

Haikus To Warm a Winter's Night

winter solstice looms

dormant ballfields quiet sit

as I look for spring

jackson rookie jilt

miggy held in low esteem

'mando imperfect

always a tiger

magglio should here remain

scott notwithstanding

shirts for david d

plentiful stripes and sailboats

lead to many laughs

I'm sorry. This is what you get when there's no baseball.

In the Bell Jar

We have arrived. At a horrifying place. A fourteen inning gauntlet that ends in consecutive loss number six. Johnny Damon makes a baserunning gaffe on a play that should have ended the game and winds up standing at third. Carlos Guillen then grounds into a disastrous double play to end the eleventh.

I blame the hitting in such situations. If the pitching staff has gone out and put up zeros for four innings in a row, the offense has to do its part and push one stinking run across. How could one run prove so elusive? How can the boys of summer not buckle down and get it done to put a halt to this skid?

I'm not on the ledge saying our season is over and we should sell at the trade deadline and look at next year. No. I want to fight for our season.

BUT....

We do have some gargantuan obstacles to clear. Our starting pitching has not solidified. Andrew Oliver needs more time to develop. Armando Galarraga has had one outing of brilliance and many of mediocrity. Rick Porcello has barely put Toledo in the rear view mirror. I fear that Jeremy Bonderman is an incurable head case. He constantly lets one bad pitch bleed into the next 25 pitches. You can read it in his face.

Our defense. Can we talk about defense for a minute? Only the Nationals separate us from last place on defense. I am ready to hop the fence and start leading some fielding drills, despite a complete lack of athleticism. I could show them what NOT to do, and how horrible they look when they field like me! That would shock them into doing better, I know it. Noone wants to look like me out there. Even in a backyard family game, I get mocked and derided mercilessly. I am the ultimate cautionary tale.

Aaaaaaaand let's not forget about offense. We have what can only be called several automatic outs on our squad. The names, Laird, Avila, Worth, Raburn come quickly to mind. When these gentlemen stride to the plate, it's as good as a television commercial. People can walk away from the tv without the slightest worry that anything of note will happen. Unless you count strikeout looking as something of note.

Now Brandon Inge has a broken hand and is out for the next four to six weeks. You may be aware that Brandon Inge is not my favorite player. However, he shores up a shaky defense, and has raised his average to a respectable (for him) .263. We can't really well afford to lose him right now. There are too many holes already.

In addition to all these roster issues, we have scheduling issues. We are on the road more this half, where we, um, suck. We don't face the Pirates, Nats and Orioles so much this half, and they, um, suck, which helped us pad our record. Starting with Cleveland after the break, we have eighteen games in a row with no off-day. Are you screaming yet? Have you begun cutting yourself yet? Would that be weird? I haven't done that. No, I have not. I categorically deny doing that.

With all that being said, I hope Dave Dombrowski makes some savvy moves at the trade deadline. Moves that won't eviscerate our already paltry stock of prospects. I hope he can swindle the pants off some other GM to give us a couple pieces that could put us over the top. Use the power of those horrible sailboat sweaters, Dave. They could hypnotize an unsuspecting baseball executive into giving up say Dan Haren or Ben Sheets, or Stephen Drew (who Kirk Gibson says has really bad luck, which could certainly be changed by coming over the AL). Right? RIGHT???

Orange Birds Verboten

I'm going to have to go ahead and say NO to losing to the Orioles. I mean, I am sorry, and no disrespect intended, but this is a series we need to sweep. Today's game was spinning along just fine until Armando Galarraga stayed in one inning too long and gave up a two run shot to Nick Markakis. Markakis also caught some long fly balls in right tonight. Hmmm. Not too happy with YOU, Mr. Markakis, not too happy at all.

Now, I think that Brennan Boesch is very deserving of an All-Star nod, but the whining over the snub is now beginning to enter ad nauseum territory here. FSN keeps throwing up graphics comparing Boesch's numbers to the AL outfield reserves. No doubt, his numbers compare favorably, more than favorably. It just doesn't make sense to keep grumbling. It happened. It was wrong. Let us move on now, shall we? I recommend this as a means of preventing ulcers, migraines and all manner of nasty stress-induced conditions. That does it for the public health announcement.

Many sighs. Magglio just check-swing struck out to end the seventh inning with a runner stranded on third. Many sighs. Speaking of Magglio, I was happy to see an article on MLB.com stating that Ordóñez was worthy of an All-Star berth. I like when my guy gets credit where credit is due. Viva Magglio! (I would say All-Star in our hearts, but it sounds way too corny, and I don't go in for that sappy stuff. He knows we love him.)

Daniel Schlereth got a major shearing. I was at Friday night's game, sat behind the bullpen, and saw Schlereth sitting on a bench chatting it up with Jeff Jones, sporting long hair. Now it is cropped short. It definitely beats the static electricity look (scroll down on that page for the hilarious photo). Actually, our pal Kojak, er, I mean Rogo, of DesigNate Robertson is probably jealous even of that strange hair. Schlereth does appear to have the ability to grow instant facial hair like Alex Avila. The club's going to be spending a lot of money on razor blades. Invest in Gillette.

Binge knocks Boesch in and stretches a double into a triple, securing Player of the Game honors, even if someone else actually knocks in a game winner. That's just how POG works. Inge wins it unless he's on the bench. A very strange group of minions mans cell phones all over the country, texting in for Binge scores of times every game. There is no plumbing such minds to find answers. Trust me.

No pressure, Ajax, you're just pinch hitting in the bottom of the 8th with a runner on third and two outs. I repeat, no pressure. Breathe in, breathe out. Jackson takes the first two pitches for strikes. Um, ok. Maybe there is some pressure. He grounds out harmlessly. Sigh.

Johnny Damon got his 2500th knock tonight. Congratulations! I'm happy for the guy. Damon got a nice ovation and they saved the ball for him, so he should have some warm fuzzy memories of the milestone, even if it did occur in the not-so-cosmopolitan city of Detroit, Michigan.

In the bottom of the ninth, Quiet Riot's "Feel the Noise" was blaring at the CoPa. Funny. It wasn't 80s night, or metal night, as far as I know.

Swing and a drive, way back...gone! Miggy crushes one to left to knot things up at five. Thank you, big fella. We needed that since the evil Twinks beat the Jays tonight. You could just see in Miguel's face that he had decided he was going to belt one out of there in that at bat. Wow. Just. Wow.

Rick Knapp goes out to the mound in the 11th to talk to Perry with runners on first and second and one out. Perry is deferentially nodding and earnestly repeating, okay, okay over and over again, while looking Knapp square in the eye. So stinking adorable.

Johnny Damon decides hit number 2500 just isn't enough, and jacks a two run walk off shot deep to right field to end all this Baltimore-Orioles-possibly-winning-the-game nonsense. Cheers!

Blue on Blue

UPDATE: Mixed results for Mr. Laird. One for four, but two RBI. Methinks he needs something a little stronger than just blue nail polish. He needs me to be AT the ballpark, in the flesh. I'm on it G Money, I'm on it.

Ryan Raburn was the apparent beneficiary of a superstitious move on part. Yesterday, in an attempt to affect the outcome of the game vs. the Nats, I painted my toenails blue. Well, what do you know? A scuffling Ryan Raburn smacked a three-run shot. Now I am in trouble, because I’m stuck with navy blue toenail polish. I don’t dare remove it. I was taught to always respect a streak, and if I think we’re winning because I am wearing blue toenail polish, we ARE winning because I’m wearing blue toenail polish. Ryan Raburn, you’re welcome. Feel free to thank me by leaving tickets at the player’s Will Call box.

Wardrobe choices now severely limited. Guess I’ll have to go out and buy more Tigers shirts. I wanted one that referenced Armando Galarraga’s perfect game anyway. Note that I did not say “nearly” perfect game. No. I will always refer to it as the perfect game, because he did in fact throw a perfect game. It is simply not reflected properly in the annals of Major League Baseball. So what. It was still perfect. Thank you very much. I’m not bitter.

Ok. I am all about using my powers for good. My next target? Gerald Laird. This poor man has been robbed of home runs, had extra base hits snared right out of the sky, and had all manner of ignominies perpetuated against him. It is just plain pathetic, for sobbing out loud. I will save you Gerald. Blue polish (gulp) applied to fingernails. No thanks necessary. It’s a public service I am glad to perform.

And Our Hero Drives Off into the Sunset in His New Convertible

But there's no happily ever after to this story. It's not a fairy tale. It's real life. Real life with grown men crying.

Jim Joyce was in tears as Armando Galarraga delivered the today's lineup card. Jim Leyland was in tears (and sunglasses) as he spoke pridefully about the Detroit fans and how they handled this whole debacle.

Armando Galarraga was all smiles as he was presented with a red Corvette convertible from Chevrolet, in lieu of being presented with a perfect game by Major League Baseball. He defied all logic, and was genuinely sanguine.

I'm trying to move on, really I am. I'm trying to be gracious, and follow the example set by Galarraga. But it's a little hard letting go. It's a little hard to see a thing of beautiful perfection snatched away so cruelly. It makes it more difficult to "relax, relate, release." By the way, if you can correctly identify the source of that little quote, you win the Old English D grand prize...to be revealed to the winner...at a time to be determined.

Anyhoo, I guess this post just serves to let the world know that it still stings, it still has me reeling, despite all the feel-good vibes of sportsmanship, dignity, class, honor and whatever other mumbo jumbo people are using to try to gloss over the pain. Deep down, it doesn't make it better. Deep down, I still want to hurl.

Paradise Lost

Armando Galarraga pitched a perfect game on June 2, 2010. Only he didn't.

With two outs in the ninth inning, first base umpire Jim Joyce put his hands out, signaling that Jason Donald was safe. The 27th batter was out by at least a step, but he was ruled safe. An absolute highjacking just occurred. A perfect game just became a one-hit shutout. How does this happen? Even Jason Donald put his hands to his head with the rest of us in sheer disbelief.

We should still be dancing in the streets, toasting Armando, giddy with pride. Instead we're left pondering a perfect thing lost.

I know. Jim Joyce is a very good umpire. Jim Leyland said it. Tim Kurkjian said it. My mind understands that. I just don't see how he makes that call.

Everybody rallied around Galarraga, who spoke like a man who didn't need consoling. Inexplicably. I wanted to sob for the guy, and he's standing there saying nobody's perfect, practically giving Joyce a pass on a blown call that will overshadow his entire career. So calm. So lacking rancor.

I am glad that he knows. Galarraga knows in his heart that he pitched a perfect game. He said he'll show his kids someday. It won't be the record book he shows them, but a video of the game. Ok. Let the game tell the story. Let their eyes get wide. Let their hearts swell with pride as they see 88 pitches complete a game. Let their voices get hoarse with emotion as they tell how 67 of those pitches were strikes.

Yes. A perfect game. Yes. Perfect.

Games Attended 2009 Part I

Ok, so I broke out the scorecards and began to sift through them. Here's a little of the early data.

I attended 22 Tiger games, 20 at Comerica and 2 at U.S. Cellular Field.

Get ready for it, the Tigers won 18 of the games I attended in 2009! I'm way ahead of you here. I must purchase season tickets for 2010, because clearly I am a charmed woman who conjures Tiger victories out of my magic giant yellow knockoff Dolce bag that I take to every game (because each item necessary to a prepared fan can fit inside its capacious confines). Donations may be submitted to fund the aforementioned season tickets. A worthy cause, no?

Here are the starting pitchers (and the corresponding Tiger victories):

Verlander: 6 starts, 5 victories

Porcello: 3 starts, 3 victories (the kid likes cougars, what can I say?)

Jackson: 4 starts, 3 victories

Galarraga: 2 starts, 2 victories (no doubt, Armando needs me at each and every one of his starts)

Robertson: 3 starts, 2 victories

Figaro: 1 start, 1 victory

Bonine: 2 starts, 1 victory

Washburn: 1 start, 1 victory

Yes I saw the one good Washburn start, yes, believe it, revel in it. AND Inge hit the walkoff winner in the bottom of the ninth, AND my friends surprised me with tickets and a group outing, AND put a birthday greeting on the CoPa scoreboard for me, it's beyond storybook, kiddies.

Now it all began on April 14, when the first game I was slated to attend got rained out, and I found myself in a rank mood for a couple days. I mean, the season started late because of the World Baseball Classic, I didn't go to the opening series, I was supposed to see Porcello's CoPa debut that day...the gripe list goes on and on.

My first game of the year would then be the Yankees on April 27, which I happened to attend with a couple blokes you might know, Blake of the Spot Starters and Rogo from DesigNate Robertson. Ian, distinguished Editor Emeritus over at Bless You Boys, was supposed to join us, but had a better offer. I assume it was the likes of Zooey Deschanel, because what other influence could cause someone to ditch three such illustrious bloggers? It was great meeting Blake and talking some baseball, but Rogo kept interjecting details about his mancrush on Derek Jeter the whole game. It got a little nauseating after a while.

Part II coming soon to a theater near you.

Out Walking the Ledge

Sooooooooo, how do you feel this morning? (That is, if you're able to drag your tail out of bed and stagger to the computer.) Like someone worked you over like Ali's punching bag? Like you're hung over but you didn't even drink? Like your best girl (or guy) dumped you unceremoniously and without warning? All of the above?

Myself, I'm still reeling. Better recover soon, there's a day game today, folks.

I'm trying to get some perspective and quell the panic, I really am. But the way we've been playing is not helping matters at all.

Porcello did his job, I mean he didn't give up any three-run homers (cough, Jackson, Galarraga, Washburn, Fien, Bonderman, cough).

Now today we have to face Carl I-Can't-Shut-Down-Anyone-But-the-Tigers Pavano. I've already set a plan in motion to sabotage him so he can't start today. It involves luring him under the I35W Bridge, where another collapse appears imminent. Wish me luck.

Hey, I Had the Broom Out for Nothing!

For some odd reason, I was sure we were going to pull out the win today. Not that I was getting greedy, I just had a feeling. Guess I'd better be glad I'm not the gambling type.

A consoling thought occurs to me (Sox & Twins also lost), but doesn't really take hold.

Guess I'll try to bask in the waning afterglow of Friday's fireworks (literal and figurative).

I'm a little steamed at Ryan Raburn's two errors in one inning at the hot corner, but he isn't responsible for all of the runners stranded, squandered, left on base to scorch in the August sun.

However, considering that Galarraga's been puking his guts out the past week with a horrible illness, losing 10 pounds, and becoming as weak as a newborn kitten, his outing was a bright spot in this loss.

Also, Granderson appears to be OK after making a terrific catch and body-slamming the wall. I was cringing and fretting for a bit there. His bell got rung pretty good.

Actually, when I think back on the absolute jewels twirled by Verlander and Washburn this week, I cannot help but smile and be happy. Baseball is so much fun when you're winning. Here's hoping we're still watching winning baseball in October.

Feels Like the First Time

Tonight I have the great pleasure of taking my nephew to his very first Major League Baseball game. He's nine years old, plays baseball, and likes baseball. This should be fun.

We face our divisional nemesis the Minnesota Twins. Taking the hill is Armando Galarraga. This could be a pivotal series for us.

To say I'm excited for tonight's game is a bit of an understatement. My aunt and uncle took me to my first game, and I now have the privilege of taking my nephew to his first. It's surely poetic justice.

That's about all for now, as I must get ready to depart for the game, but I just wanted to give a shout out to young Bailey before his first game.

Full report to follow afterward.

Swap Meet

While the Tigers have been busy doing nothing (and by that I mean nothing that has resulted in an actual trade) as the deadline draws near, I’ve been busy vacillating between moves I feel would be most beneficial. We’ve got numerous weak spots, from starting pitching, backup catcher, third base (with Binge’s microtorn tendon), corner outfielder, and the obvious generic “bat.” Some people have also mentioned bullpen help, but I really feel that's the least of our worries. I know Zumaya could be out the rest of the season if he needs surgery, but I'll take my chances on Ryan Perry and Casey Fien, and let the other needs take precedence.

Oh Tigers, do anything but just stand pat. I’m not expecting a splashy move, but there are several modest options that are within reason. It's also hard, because you don't want to give up too much, or zero out our already depleted farm system, but when you're in first place at the trade deadline, you don't just roll over.

I was firmly in favor of a bat after we took losses in a rash of low-scoring affairs, but now I begin to reckon that starting pitching may be the biggest concern (if only one move will be made). Pretty Little Ricky, while performing admirably for a 20 year old, is showing that he is only 20, and he may just not hold up all season (which was a realistic concern all along). Lucas French got rocked his last outing and only has five starts here in the bigs to go on. Armando Galarraga has come around rather nicely after a horrific start.

I can hope big and wish for the Tigers to go after Jarrod Washburn. Geoff Baker of the Seattle Times reports that the Yankees are pushing hard for Washburn. This incenses me to no end, so I hope we get him just to spite the Yanks. Oh, it's not enough that you got Sabathia and Burnett in the off season, is it?

I kind of hate rumors, because they are often groundless, many times come to nothing, and result in a lot of needless hand-wringing. But right now, the tradewinds are all we've got to go on, so we are blown by every breeze. Until tomorrow at 4:00 pm, do some stress relieving exercises, preferably ones that do not include binge eating (drinking, chain-smoking, etc). I've seen the error of my ways, and ran out my aggression today instead of stopping for a milkshake like I really wanted to.

In some truly noteworthy trade news, the White Sox obtained Mark Kotsay from Boston. Jim Leyland's wife will be thrilled, as he once said that she thinks Kotsay is "the hottest thing going." Now he's in our division, so she'll see a lot more of him. I don't have a link for that comment, but I heard Leyland say it myself back in the 2006 playoffs when Kotsay was playing for Oakland.

Anatomy of a Murder(ed Game)

Seven runners left on base.

0-4 with RISP.

Three GIDP, all inning-ending.

One baserunning gaffe.

Mega-squander of this outing from Galarraga: 7 IP, 5 H, 1 RUN (earned), 7 K, 1 BB.

Single, walk, TRIPLE in the 8th to surrender the lead we were clinging to by a strand of silken spider thread.

Long ball in the ninth, after we tied up the game in the bottom of the 8th.

Read enough yet?

Oh, seeing Carlos Guillen in the cages today gave me a glimmer of hope that our offense could have a pick-me-up coming, but how long before he makes sure he's able to "partipate in baseball activities" pain-free, gets his timing back, completes a rehab assignment, is ready to contribute.......well. according to Tigers.com, it's perhaps as soon as the end of this very month.

I did get two giggles from today's game.

In the top of the 4th, Willie Bloomquist tried to stretch a single and Raburn rifled the throw in to Polanco, who bobbled, but Bloomquist overslid the base, and Polanco got a hold of the ball and put the tag on for the out (Bloomquist may have been safe, but who am I to question an umpire?). The replay showed Galarraga barking something and generally going crazy trying to speak the out into existence as the circus played out. It was great comedy. I only wish I knew what he was saying out there.

In the bottom of the ninth, Gerald Laird singled to left. DeJesus stumbled, tumbled and tottered around before getting the ball in. I think he was just charging hard to try to make a play on the ball, so when it fell in, it was difficult to field. He was smiling sheepishly as he went back to left field. It gave me a little anger-diffusing laugh after the folly of our pitching in the 8th and 9th.

What angered me most, is that we need to win some of these close games, AND we're facing Greinke on Wednesday. Argh/sigh/groan/whimper/sniff.

I'll be at the CoPa tomorrow, and that is surely all the team needs to know to generate the will to win.

Outlook Grim

When your three options are to break out in hives, break down in tears, or break something in a fit of rage, you know it's been a schrecklich (English wasn't enough here) couple days on the hill (and at the plate, for that matter). I'll say this much, the Detroit Tigers will not be in first place long if we continue to pitch and hit like this.

I really don't know what to say. Galarraga got knocked around like an arcade pinball yesterday, and Willis simply cannot convince the ball to stay in the same zip code as the strike zone. Nate Robertson will have me waking up screaming in the middle of the night with yesterday's performance--and today's? Well, I guess I can say he didn't surrender a grand slam.

It looks to me like Zach Miner will be getting a chance to start again. Although he hasn't copped an attitude (Brandon Inge and Nate Robertson--you could take a note from that), Zach is one guy who just might be entitled to do a little griping about the way he's been used. He'll get a chance now to grab a hold of a rotation spot, I would think.

We get runners in scoring position, and nothing...zippo, popup, GIDP, strikeout, take your stinking pick.

We're looking at interleague matchups against St. Louis, Milwaukee and Chicago. The Cards and Brewers are tied for first in the NL Central at 34-29. The Cubbies are 2.5 games back at .500, just lost two out of three to the Twinkies, but won today to help us retain a 3 game lead over MN. Maybe it's just me, but I don't like being reliant on another team for my baseball fortunes.

Well boys, use tomorrow's off day for some introspection, extra batting practice, or a heart-to-heart with Rick Knapp as appropriate to your personal situation.