The Field

My previous post outlined my campaign for Vladimir Guerrero coming to the Tigers. Now, we'll take a look at the field and see how the competition fares against my pick. My analysis here is all straight up. No spin, no hollow rhetoric, no playing to your patriotic Tiger loyalties. I may have to break that last campaign promise right off the bat. That's ok though, you expected it. I wouldn't be politicking if I weren't going back on my words while they were still hanging in the air. No particular order, other than blatant, stone-blind favoritism toward the first man on the ballot below:

Magglio Ordóñez

Stop your eye-rolling scoffs right now. One of the largest oxymorons in sports is that fans want to win the Championship with seemingly every fiber of their beings, but at the same time harbor attachments to players that make them completely unable to view personnel transactions with impartiality.

Magglio has been working out with Miguel Cabrera this off season, and is reportedly at 70%. He won't be game ready by the beginning of the season, but neither will someone like Cespedes. After coming off consecutive ankle-breaking seasons, many say the man is just done. The truth is, you never know with aging players (hello, Lance Berkman!). It would be a low-cost move that would give the man his place in a Tigers uniform. It might not work out, true. I'm willing to take the risk, because Brennan Boesch is healthy, and there is a little something called the trade deadline at which we could make an additional move, if needed.

Carlos Peña

Sorry folks, this candidate has accepted an assignment with the Tampa Bay Rays. High on a lot of lists, I would have been fine with this move, but had a lingering uneasiness about his high strikeout rate.

Carlos Lee

Trade whispers indicate Andy Oliver might go to the Astros for Lee. Every trade rumor makes me cringe immediately, because our system is already so thin, and what do we have to trade away???? This move doesn't worry me so much, though. Although he is 35, Lee has been durable, playing in 162 games twice in his career, and consistent. I think he'd be a solid acquisition.

Prince Fielder

Sigh. I would not even list him, but since so many delusional fans keep clamoring for him, let us outline why Prince will not be coming here.

1. He's looking for a long term deal, and there is no reason to think he won't get one. His agent is Scott Boras. Do you really think Boras would even allow him to entertain the idea of a one year contract? Please awaken from this dream state and return to the realm of possibility.

2. He's famously estranged from his pops, and would face nothing but constant hounding about Cecil if he played here. Even fond memories of hitting batting practice home runs as a 13 year old at Tiger Stadium will do nothing to sway him.

3. He plays first base. Ahem.

Let's move on, shall we?

Yoenis Cespedes

Cespedes is a high profile Cuban defector who is still trying to establish residency so that MLB can declare him a free agent. With many teams vying for his services, the Tigers would likely overpay. I'd love to have the guy, but I think Dombrowski will be more conservative, and the Tigers will not win the bidding. It's ok. Remember that we still need a fifth starter. (subliminal messaging--don't rush Jacob Turner, don't rush Jacob Turner)

Johnny Damon

I had to go back and completely change my stance on this candidate. I HATE that, because I really wanted to be dead set against Johnny. It's because I am biased. Yup. My prejudices wrongly influenced me at first. I have never cared much for Damon. If you want to be a hired gun and go where the money is, no problem. Just don't say stuff like "I could never play for the Yankees," and then go denude yourself of facial hair and sign with them five seconds later. Well, I looked at the numbers. Compared him to options like Rick Ankiel and J.D. Drew. We'd be MUCH better off signing Damon. That's what happens when you do the research instead of letting personal slant strap the blinders on. I feel so tolerant and large-minded now! We may still not be cosmopolitan enough for Mrs. Damon, but I know Johnny liked playing here, so who knows?

I could go on for days here, and we have a lot of flexibility, because we can get a DH who can't play a lick of D, or we could sign an outfielder and put Young at DH, which would suit me and a legion of others quite nicely. So, even though I mourn the fact that Victor will not be stepping into the batter's box any time soon, and want to sob every time I think about HIS loss, we do have some things that can be done to try to compensate until our man can return.

Who's YOUR candidate?

SuperPac: Guerrero Your Hero

I have decided to start a superpac to campaign on behalf of bringing Vladimir Guerrero to the D. I mean, it's the season for campaigning, so why not throw Vlad's hat in to the ring? I don't know about you, but every time I listen to debates or soundbites from politicians, I get a strange churning feeling in the pit of my stomach. The seemingly viral corruption there is very distasteful. Never fear, I pledge to run a clean campaign for Vlad. No smearing of the other candidates. Well, if something about one of the other candidates is true, it may be shared in the interest of full disclosure.

Here are some qualities that would make Vlad a good fit for Detroit:

1. He doesn't use batting gloves. This is just pure awesomeness, and there are very few people who bat without gloves these days. Because he doesn't use gloves, he uses a lot of pine tar. We want to help sustain the pine tar industry, so let's employ Guerrero. Maybe they'll build a pine tar processing plant in Michigan.

2. Vlad's mother makes an incredible spread for the clubhouse for every game. Guerrero is from the Dominican Republic. Word is his mother's food is super delicious. Who knows, you may have a chance to sneak into the clubhouse sometime and partake.

3. Vlad is a bad ball hitter. I love this. It's impossible not to love seeing someone swing at stuff above the letters and down on the shoetops and actually make contact. I am fully aware that Vlad is not in his prime any longer, but he would be more than serviceable.

4. His name is Vladimir. That is all.

5. Vlad has six kids. I don't know how he has managed his money. He may need the cash.

6. He was on the cover of TV Guide. TV GUIDE! You don't believe me? Behold.

Look, our campaign slogan is clear: "VIVA VLAD!"

So there you have it. My case for Vladimir Guerrero. I will be producing campaign video spots, buttons, yard signs, and more very soon.

Lady Sings the Blues

Rogo of DesigNate Robertson has become so lazy that he puts stupid tiger pictures on his site and calls it a real post. I must protest. The offseason is hard enough already, and now he's not even going to help us through it by providing some reading material? No. Join me in urging him to shake off his sloth and post something worthy.

Dave Dombrowski puts the kabosh on the Jeremy Bonderman and Vlad Guerrero rumors. Well. Ok. Good.

Can you survive the next eleven days? I'm not quite sure whether I'll make it myself. I've contemplated illegal money-raising activities in order to get my tail down to Spring Training. You know what though? Even if I don't make it down there, the photos posted by fellow fans who are there always make my day. I love wading through pages and pages of Flickr albums that showcase our boys frolicking in the grass at Joker Marchant Stadium.

Have you purchased Rosetta Stone yet in order to better communicate with the ever growing Latin contingent of the Tigers? I am determined to learn Spanish. Why did my high school offer only German?? What good is it doing me now?? Sigh.

Well that's it for the random thoughts at this time.

Do I?

Do I want Vladimir Guerrero to be a member of the Tigers? I have always loved watching Vlad swing at a ball just above his shoe tops, and stroke it for a hit. I also like his no batting glove wearing, pine-tar helmet sporting look. However, I'm so ambivalent right now, because the effect of Vlad on our defense would be, um, borderline catastrophic. If we add Vlad at DH, that bumps Victor Martinez to everyday catcher. Cue the shrieks. I mean, I was really happy with the Martinez signing, but I don't want to see him behind the dish every day.

Now let's just say hypothetically, that Dombrowski decides NOT to put Martinez at catcher every day even with Vlad on the roster. Now everyone is set up for discontent. Either Guerrero or Martinez will be squeezed out of playing time, and I don't see either of them being happy with that. Some might say Vlad could play right field some days, since Magglio is now 37 years old. Uh, did you see him in right field during the playoffs this year? OK. Let us put that idea through the shredder post-haste.

I haven't mentioned Alex Avila here, but he's young enough that he can wait to be a full-time catcher. He can use more time to develop. He hasn't proven himself offensively. I feel like he'll be all right.

I don't want the defensive troubles of the 2008 team to be repeated in 2011. I don't want a roster full of guys who are chafing at their roles. Don't you remember Pudge asking to be traded, and how we got Kyle Farnsworth in return? I apologize for taking you there, but it's a necessary reality check. I shuddered as I was typing it, believe me.

I can't come to a conclusion here. My brain is conflicted and fragmented. I want Vlad. I want good defense. I want happy ball players. I want it all.

Who's Your Non-Tiger?

What players do you like to watch from other teams?  It could just be that you like their game, and enjoy seeing them play.  Maybe you wish they were a Tiger, even if it's only because you can't stand facing them, or because they've got a reputation as a "Tiger killer."  Maybe it's a fun personality that has you hooked.

Here are a couple of my favorite non-Tigers, and I'd like to hear yours.

I love to see Vladimir Guerrero play.  He's a bad ball hitter, and it's a lot fun to see him golf one off his shoe tops. He must really get under a pitcher's skin.

Jose Reyes is fun because he's hyper, and he drives pitchers crazy on the base paths.  His speed is something to behold.

I'm looking forward to watching young Carlos Gomez of the Twins' development.  He's fast, covers a lot of ground in the outfield--quite a sparkplug.

Roy Halladay is one of my most feared pitchers.  I don't like it when we face him.  Thankfully he's not an AL central foe.

I am always in awe of Albert Pujols.  I couldn't believe it when I read that the NL MVP was "wide open" this year.  I thought he was a lock.