Game Three is Good to Me

I was at Game 3 of the 2006 ALDS. I was at Game 3 of the 2011 ALDS. These were good games. The Tigers won them both. I screamed myself hoarse. I got to see two Yankee fans practically RUN to the exits after DEREK MR. OCTOBER JETER struck out to end the game and the Yankee comeback threat.

This game was the cause of many near-hospitalizations. My stomach hurt almost all game long. At the end of the game, I was literally gulping for air, and my legs were a strange jelly-like consistency underneath me. It was all almost too much to bear. I had so much adrenaline rushing through my body, it lingered for hours afterward. I woke up yesterday at 5:00 am, and couldn't go back to sleep in anticipation of the evening's festivities. I didn't get home until after 1 am, and as you know, I'm old, so staying up for 20 hours straight takes its toll. I felt massively hungover today, even though I didn't have a drop of alcohol yesterday. I've been worthless all day. My body is moving in a very slug-like manner, and my throat is scratchy from all the raucous yelling I did last night. It's fabulous.

Justin Verlander struck out the side in the fifth, and it was nothing short of breath-taking. HE STRUCK OUT THE YANKEE SIDE. IN THE PLAYOFFS. COME ON PEOPLE! Crazy-tingly-high-fiving-strangers-wicked-stuff.

Delmon Young's seventh inning, game-winning home run came very near where I was sitting with Rogo of Designate Robertson. He is a total dork, and has posted a photo on his site in which he has circled himself in the crowd. Needless to say, we all went gonzo when it happened. I mean, how deflating that Gardner, newly annointed Tiger Killer, tied the game in the top of the inning. I am beginning to dislike this fellow very much. Anyway, Delmon revived us all with one first-pitch swing of the bat. Thank you Delmon, for picking Justin Verlander up so quickly.

When Don Kelly laid down a bunt single, I had to laugh and give Rogo a hard time. It was fun. Also, I declare that Rogo not-so-secretly likes and roots for Brandon Inge. Yes, the very same Inge he has mocked and derided on his site for years. You may not be aware of this, but the Rogo of Designate Robertson isn't much like Scott Rogowski. It's an alter-ego like Tony Plush or Larry Bernandez.

Jose Valverde had a ninth inning that gave the nickname Cardiac Cats new meaning. I am serious. At times, I could barely watch, and my breath was alternately held and gasping. I tried taking deep calm breaths, but with little success. Two walks, two outs, he buzzes Jeter and we all gasp some more. Finally, FINALLY he gets Jeter swinging, and the place roars.

Post season memories last a lifetime.

Without a Net

After spelling Alex Avila for one game, the Tigers have sent Omir Santos back across the State line to Toledo. Is anyone else worried about this? If Santos isn't recalled by August 31, we won't have a playoff-eligible backup catcher in the event that Victor's knee doesn't mend. I don't find this to be wise. I don't believe that Brandon Inge's knees can stand up to the rigors of catching, so I don't include him in the catcher discussion. Is Don Kelly your idea of a suitable backup? Bwahahahahahaha. Don't let the fact that he's played all nine positions fool you.

Maybe the Tigers have consulted a psychic (asked Kevin Rand) and they are fully confident that everything will be fine with Victor. I hope so. I hope with all my heart so.

Because, you know what? I'm sprung. I've allowed myself to be infected with playoff fever. I was trying to be all sensible...cautious...guarded. But after we beat the Rays on Tuesday, in a game in which we had Brad Penny (no offense) go up against David Price, in a game in which both Benoit and Valverde were unavailable, in a game in which Phil Coke was not supposed to appear, and in a game in which he was then asked to go two innings and close out the thing, I just lost it.

My heart is now fully invested in making the playoffs. I know. I am a fool. I set myself up for yet another heartache. If the unthinkable happens, no one will be able to deal with me...no one. Sick leave will be taken from work, and you'll find me sitting alone in a dark room, unshowered, wearing the same stanky Tigers t-shirt, muttering incoherently. Not a pretty picture. But true.

So Tigers, you darn well better know what you're doing walking the tightrope without a net. Everything's riding on it. EVERYTHING.

Bad Weather Leads to Outlandish Sentiments

Rainout. It's a dirty word in my book. Postponements are loathsome. You see, fans go out to the ballpark expecting baseball, and what they get is....wet. Soggy, flooding downpours that make it difficult to see ten feet in front of you. Cold, sodden jeans that refuse to dry out. It's a misery. In this Spring-that-never-was, we Tiger faithful have endured more than our fair share of rainouts. Very disturbing.

Another thing I find unsettling is this Brandon Inge/Don Kelly situation. I won't call it a platoon as yet, because it's only happened a couple times. Binge is scuffling at the plate (as per usual--will you idiots who claim he will do better this season year after forsaken year please stifle yourselves and accept him as Mendoza???) Our alternative to Binge??? Don Kelly. I call him Donkey. It's not a compliment. Who can accept either of these two stiffs in the lineup? There is no lesser evil here. It's fail on the one hand, and incompetence on the other.

I'm not gonna name names and subject anyone to jeers and catcalls here (though public humiliation should be the penance for expressing that affront to sane people everywhere), but someone told me he/she felt sorry for Inge today. What in the name of balls and strikes?? I just....No. There's no pitying someone who is batting .208 with one home run, 36 whiffs and 12 RBI. This guy deserves to stockpile gigantic splinters in his derierre.

I would love to speak about other Tigerly things, but my basement looks like Lake Havasu, and I've got to board a plane to Atlantic City to appear in a Jersey Shore episode. So enjoy your holiday weekend, and may the Tigers put some holes in the Sox.

Messing with the Lineup

Much has been made of manager Jim Leyland’s inept lineup making when a player such as three-hole Magglio Ordóñez is out. Rogo of Designate Robertson and I have wrung our hands, spit tacks, and battled lunacy over players like Don Kelly and Ryan Raburn batting third when they clearly have no business doing so. Then, to add to the absolute hilarity (that’s a euphemism for bull dung) of it all, Rod and Mario were discussing the matter during yesterday’s game. Can you guess what they had to say about it? They said that Leyland likes to slot a replacement player into the missing player’s place in the lineup, so as not to “mess with” the rest of the order.

WHAT??

So, you’re telling me a player who normally bats fifth or sixth (Boesch, Guillen), will get all “messed up” if suddenly called upon to bat third? I…what the…does not compute. I am so sorry, but if a major league ballplayer can’t deal with an occasional shift in the lineup card, what earthly good is he? Please file this under the “just shoot me now and put me out of my agony” category, because I believe I am about to go certifiable.

In rather interesting timing, Ian Casselberry, in his new work at SB Nation Detroit, points us to a Boston Globe piece by Nick Cafardo, in which he opines whether Jim Leyland is doing his best work yet as manager. Ahem, excuse me while I become the latest victim of spontaneous combustion. I'm going to have to go ahead and say (expletive) NO, Nick.

A Touch of Green

In taking in the recap of yesterday's Spring Training game in the Free Press, I read with wonder that Don Kelly was playing first base for the Tigers in the fifth inning, and made a diving stop to rob an Astros player of a hit.  I must admit that I was like um, Don Kelly was playing first base for the Tigers?  Who in Blarney's name is Don Kelly?  Is he playing for the Tigers today because it's St. Patrick's day?  (He may well not be Irish, I really don't know.)  I apologize for my ignorance of this bloke. 

Let's remedy that now.   Kelly was drafted by the Tigers in the 8th round of the 2001 draft (Baseball Reference).  He's only played a handful of games in the bigs, in 2007 with the Pirates.  He was signed as a free agent in 2008 by the Diamondbacks, but is now a non-roster invitee with the Tigers.

To says he's a light hitter might be a bit of an understatement.  He hit .148 with the Pirates in 2007 in 25 games and 27 ABs.  He did hit .275 in the Diamondbacks' minor league system last year over 436 ABs in 124 games.

He's got some speed, swiping 23 bases for Toledo and Erie in 2006, but only stole 2 bases last year.

Anyway, halloo Don Kelly, and may the luck '0 the Irish be with you.