Tigertown in Shambles

Well, there's nothing to break a person out of writer's block like a horrific off-season injury to a key player. For some reason, I've just been completely void of post ideas for quite a while. Not the best thing for retaining readers. So, to the maybe one person left out there, I give you this: GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I mean, this is just too much. I can't imagine how the man himself feels right now, when all of Tiger fandom is alternating between sobs, muttering and cursing. It's a blow not easily recovered from. It shakes a not so solid lineup. It exposes Miguel Cabrera to 50,000 intentional walks. I CANNOT BEAR THE THOUGHT OF THE BAT BEING TAKEN OUT OF MIGGY'S HANDS AGAIN!!!

Of course, this also comes at just about the worst possible time. Fans are literally broken out in baseball withdrawal sweats, and the Tigers have cancelled Tiger fest in a Grinchy move that is calculated to make me even crankier than normal. Could you not shell out a few bucks to rent out Cobo or Joe Louis you tightwads? I love the corporate line "TigerFest is best suited to Comerica Park." YOU MEAN YOU'RE TOO CHEAP AND LAZY TO HOLD IT SOMEWHERE ELSE, JERKS.

Sorry for all the caps lock, but it's been that kind of day. I hope these skinflint ways don't extend to finding a replacement for VMart. We need a bat for this season. We can't just make do. We are already making do with platoons of Raburn/Santiago and Inge/Kelly. UGH. Go get a bat, Dave, go get a bat.

I have always been a fan of Vlad Guererro. I know, he's diminished, but he may be a decent option. Of course, you know what I am REALLY hoping for:

BRING BACK MAGGLIO IN A BLAZE OF GLORY AND LET HIM FINISH HIS CAREER A TIGER AS HE SHOULD AND ALL WILL BE RIGHT IN THE WORLD.

Sorry. I am a little crazed at the moment. But really, we could do worse. He'd be inexpensive. He will probably hit for decent average. He belongs here. Accept it before it destroys you.

Also, let us not forget about poor Victor. Many get well wishes go out to you, fine sir. May you find comfort in the fact that so many people have gone absolutely certifiable over the thought of going a season without you. May the surgeon's hand be masterful, and your recovery be swift. May your family care for you in your recuperation. And may the Tigers win the Central so you can come back and be a playoff hero.