Every Sports Plot in New York (ESPN)

I am biased toward the Motor City Bengals. I don't bury my allegiance. When it comes to our boys of summer, my ability to deal impartially may be impaired. I do attempt to be honest in my evaluation of the Tigers, but I'm sure many times I play the part of the homer. However, this blog is titled "Old English D." I'm supposed to have a slant. It's implied, it's obvious, it's assumed. I didn't set out to provide nonpartisan coverage of Major League Baseball.

The Entertainment and Sports Programming Network purports to be an independent, national media outlet. Someone must have forgotten to inform Sean McDonough, Rick Sutcliffe and Aaron Boone. This trio worked today's Yankees/Tigers spring finale. I knew the game was on ESPN, but I had to keep checking to make sure my television wasn't tuned to SNY.

When the Tigers were batting, the talk was all about the Yankee defense at EACH AND EVERY POSITION. When the Yankees came to the plate, dialogue remained NY-centric. Jeter lost the big stride, he'll be shortening his swing this year. Then came a dramatic rundown of the big "controversy" about him possibly not hitting leadoff this season. A-Rod dropped weight, and is in incredible shape. Really, we're still talking about someone being in the "best shape of his life" at this stage of Spring Training??? Swisher just got married, they hope he's not wearing his ring while batting.....I'm getting a migraine just recounting this swill.

Then there was the pronunciation of Tiger players' names. It was "Joe-ELL" Zumaya, and Fu-Te "Naa." I have heard many broadcasters say that they get proper pronunciations for players before the game, and even practice saying the names correctly. Such trivial details are not on the radar for our eminent professionals.

I get that Aaron Boone played for the Yankees. It was only for one year of his career, but he did have the ALCS game seven home run against the Red Sox, which cemented him, no doubt, as a "Yankee for Life." Not sure why former Cubs pitcher Sutcliffe would be all over the Bronx Bombers, but perhaps Boone has threatened to call him "Tricky Dick" on the air unless he toes the Yankee line. Sean McDonough has obviously been through ESPN's New York brain-washing process, and would never speak more than two words at a time about another team.

Maybe I'm just at the end of my rope. Maybe I can't handle two more days without regular season ball. Maybe I'm cranky because the mercury hasn't hit 40 all week. But maybe, just maybe ESPN believes that the New York Yankees are the only team that anyone in the country cares about. I would encourage you to let the esteemed network know that there are actually twenty nine other teams that exist, one of them in the same city (gasp!) as the players who wear pinstripes.

Sucker...

I am truly one of those born every minute, bait for sleazy snake-oil salesmen the world over, gullible fools. Just when I said I was through with the stupid, meaningless "pretend" games of Spring, I sat watching the Cards/Twins game today on ESPN. A promo spot for MLB comes on called "This is Beyond Baseball." It starts out with video of Joe DiMaggio, and says your grandpa may have told you how he saw Joe play the field, then it goes on that maybe your dad tells stories about seeing Hank Aaron go yard. Then it ramps up to the finalé--now it's your turn to tell your kids you saw Albert Pujols do...everything. Sentimental music plays in the background. And I actually FALL for this! I find a smile curving my lips upward despite myself. Just the thought of baseball greats and watching the drama of a terrific game or play unfold turns me into a sappy, sniveling idiot.

Wow. MLB. They had me at play ball.

With such power at its hands, there is bound to be abuse. Go ahead, lose 119 games, I'll still buy tickets. Sure, trade Curtis Granderson, I'll still pay outlandish prices for officially licensed Tigers gear at the MLB store. Raise ticket prices? No sweat, I'll just raid my son's college fund to make up the difference. Player strike? Well, that kept me away for all of one year, and I came crawling back like the addict I am.

Sucker...

Frenetic Free Agent Forecasting

It's a fun-filled, anxiety-ridden time of year for baseball lovers.  Watching the hot stove, monitoring desirable free agents, trying to protect favorite players from trade via mind control--you know what I'm talking about.

In a piece on ESPN.com, Tim Kurkjian counts down the top ten off-season story lines.  Francisco Rodriguez his the list at number six.  Kurkjian opines that the Mets and Tigers make the most sense, due to their mutual need for help at closer.  He then goes on to say that "it doesn't appear that the Mets are willing to give K-Rod the money and years that he'll be looking for."   He doesn't say word one about what I thought had been overtly iterated by Dombrowski--that the Tigers are equally unwilling to shell out the necessary cash on the free agent market this off-season. 

So I'll go ahead and give the rumor mill a big shove to get it going at warp speed.  Maybe we will be involved in the bidding war on K-Rod!

Really, this is speculation of gargantuan proportions, but it sure piqued my curiosity that Kurkjian didn't say the Tigers weren't interested.

Also, as a side note, and number three on Kurkjian's list, I'm intent on finding out CC Sabathia's new home.  It's hilarity to me that the Yanks are desperate to sign him (and they better well fail, or it'll turn from hilarity to blinding fury), despite the fact that he's indicated his desire to settle on the West coast nearer his California home, and despite his willingness to at least listen to small-market Milwaukee's offer.  My secret wish is that Illich would empty his pockets and sign him, but I know that's only fantasy baseball at its finest.  So, I'll be content to see him sign with anyone but the dreaded Yanks.