Hurry Down the Chimney Tonight

Santa baby, slip a player under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a batting practice jersey too, dark blue
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the Tigers that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be oh so good
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo

Santa honey, I wanna roster spot and really that's
Not a lot
I've been an angel all year
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed
To the CoPa
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, fill my stocking with season tickets,
Sign your 'X' on the line
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and bring me Magglio

live and in the flesh, oh
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a (World Series) ring
I don't mean on the phone
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight

Forget Jerry Maguire, It's My "Free Fallin'" Moment Now

Cue the seraphim and cherubim, angelic choirs singing rapturously, and an old, awkward white lady trying to do the dougie. You know why I'm giddy. Magglio Ordóñez has reportedly signed a one year, $10-million dollar deal to remain in the Old English D.

DID YOUR HEAR ME????

VIVA MAGGLIO ORDÓÑEZ!

Ok. Everyone may not feel as, hem, joyous as I do about this, but most will agree that Magglio was one of the best free-agent options left on the market.

We no longer have to ponder right field options such as Don Kelly and Willie Bloomquist. No more weeping and gnashing of teeth. Sorry. Was I the only one doing that?

Seriously though, we really needed our hero's bat. Desperately. We don't want to see Miguel Cabrera batting with as much protection as me stepping to the plate with a plastic fungo bat ever again.

I leave you to imagine my ecstatic warblings.

What If the Unthinkable Happens?

Well, by now you've heard that many teams, among them Boston, Texas and Philadelphia, are interested in the services of our free-agent rightfielder Magglio Ordóñez. Our hero worked out for teams today, and the Tigers were in attendance. No word on how that workout was received by onlookers. No tweets from Jason Beck on this, other than to say that he wasn't invited to view the workout.

So, if some other team (gasp) snags Ordóñez, and it turns out that we're priced out of the Carl Crawford sweepstakes, who else should the Tigers pursue?

Here are a few names and stat lines for your perusal. Stats via Fangraphs and Baseball-Reference.

Bill Hall

2010 batting

.247/.316/.456/.772

18HR, 46 RBI, 9 SB

Fielding, 2006-2010, outfield

UZR -.5

Jose Guillen

2010 batting

.258/.314/.416/.772

19HR, 77 RBI, 1 SB

Fielding, 2010, outfield

UZR 1.9

Willie Bloomquist

2009 Batting (played in 83 games in 2010)

.265/.308/.355/.663

4 HR, 29 RBI, 25 SB

Fielding, 2009, outfield

UZR -1.4

Find anything to your liking, or do you have a favorite candidate?? Please share.

As for me, I'm still foolishly hoping we snatch Magglio from the claws of these other teams. But really, in looking at other options, I'm gonna have to ahead and say that we had darn well better sign Ordóñez or Crawford. Otherwise, why did we go out there and get Benoit and Martinez? We need to add a quality bat. Period.

Haikus To Warm a Winter's Night

winter solstice looms

dormant ballfields quiet sit

as I look for spring

jackson rookie jilt

miggy held in low esteem

'mando imperfect

always a tiger

magglio should here remain

scott notwithstanding

shirts for david d

plentiful stripes and sailboats

lead to many laughs

I'm sorry. This is what you get when there's no baseball.